. . . the fish seem so much more active.
Lately it feels like that for me, at least mentally. And that’s not a good thing, really. I’m not talking about great mental activity, great productive writing or thinking or praying. I’m talking about thoughts swimming around too fast, feeling like attention deficit. I’m talking about focus.
Summer finally arrived here in north Georgia. And with it an odd anxiety. It’s all in my head.
I began a study looking at “Rights” and “Justice.” I quickly got overwhelmed, moved on, and haven’t returned. Perhaps it’s just not the time to write about it. Perhaps it’s “the enemy” attacking me. Perhaps it’s just too many fish in the warm water of my mind.
It’s also that several things lately have reminded me of the “End Times.” I recalled that Y’shuaJesus said we need to be vigilant for we don’t know the time of the coming wrath. And I am encouraged by the Apostle Paul, who, guided by the Spirit of G-d, wrote:
Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. Romans 5:9
Relax, I tell myself. There’s nothing to be anxious about. Anxious. Anxiety. Y’shuaJesus comforts us with words meant to sooth us, to let us know that we need not be anxious. When I think about being anxious about nothing, I remember I once attended in which it was somehow inappropriate to be anxious or concerned or upset. I remember how the preacher led praise and the congregation danced in procession around the auditorium. I remember the faces that held tight their anguish, forcing smiles. It was as if some one might let out a brief display of sadness and an Elder coming around saying, “Your not. . .” this or that or some other thing or another. “Let go, Let G-d,” he or she might say.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s alright to feel sad, or blue, or anxious, or distracted. Maybe that’s what makes us human. It makes me wonder just how far we’ve come to trying to be emotionless robots, flesh-covered computers. Adverts on the television tell us to ask our doctors about this drug or that drug to make us feel better. Preachers tell us we need to get right with G-d, and we’ll feel better. The best one I’ve ever heard, is that Solomon was depressed when he wrote Ecclesiastes. “All is vanity. . .” Maybe King Solomon was right. Maybe we’re just being deluded into accepting a well-placed lie. “Life is wonderful. Life is beautiful. Be happy.”
It seems to me that it’s okay feel what ever way we feel. And with those feelings, perhaps because of those feelings, we grasp tighter to the hem of our Savior’s clothing and, as Apostle Paul so said, find a contentment in even these tribulations. Perhaps in the depths of anxiety, we may rejoice. This isn’t suppose to be a “wonderful life.” It’s suppose to try us. For Life that is wonderful is Life with our Savior when He comes for us.
Lord Bless, Keep, Shine. . .