“These were the potters and those who lived among plants and hedges. They lived there with the king for his work.” (1 Chronicles 4:23 MKJV)

Spurgeon once wrote: “Dwell ye with the King for his work, and when he writes his chronicles your name shall be recorded.”

Occasionally, I question what I’m doing, where I am in the Lord’s service. I wonder about direction. I question. G-d blesses me in so many ways. I see His work, and yet continue to wonder at my value. There I said it! Yes, that is the issue. Well, perhaps it is an issue, not just the issue.

I am blessed in my work, my life, but begin to wonder about my value in G-d’s service. There are triggers that push me into this sort of thinking, setting me to thinking about what I’m doing, where I’m going with that doing. Am I suppose to change my doing, change directions. Sometimes the triggers occur before a trial. Trials are experiencing the peaks and valleys in one’s walk with the Lord. They exist. For every valley and low point there is a green pasture with its high points on the other side.

Even in this ‘knowing,’ I seek to find if I’m where I am suppose to be, as if were the first low experienced. Now this isn’t such a bad thing to do, occasionally. It isn’t the questioning that is dangerous; it’s getting overly anxious, despairing, seeking other than G-d for guidance and approval.
Yes, approval. If I don’t feel of value, am I going to seek approval from people or activities that give me the illusion of value? If I do, I’m doomed to a swamp filled with alligators and lots of bugs. I don’t like bugs, especially the kind that bite and leave me with swollen spots that burn and itch.

Paul, in Athens, said, “The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of Heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands, nor is served with man’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives life and breath and all things to all. And He has made all nations of men of one blood to dwell on all the face of the earth, ordaining fore-appointed seasons and boundaries of their dwelling, to seek the Lord, if perhaps they might feel after Him and find Him, though indeed He is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:24-27 MKJV)

Questioning where I am, if I do right in what I’m doing, is not wrong. It is a normal response to an event or series of events. How I respond makes all the difference in my relationship with our Lord.
It is written, it is ordained, we are to “seek the Lord.” It will do no good to ignore the promptings to question, as if in some way this means we aren’t as spiritual as we would like to appear.

Once, some years ago, I attended a church that had an attitude of continuous rejoicing. But in the eyes of many people I saw something that contradicted their smiles, hand-waving worship, their rejoicing. It seemed to me they were pretending to have the Joy of the Lord, ignored there feelings. Perhaps they feared that they might be less spiritual if they admitted they were having a hard time, a bad day. The Psalms cry out praises of G-d’s work and faithfulness. But also they tell of troublesome times, times like our own. “You make us a strife for our neighbors; and our enemies laugh among themselves.” (Psalms 80:6 MKJV) And this, as with all the Psalms, ends with promise and hope: “Turn us again, O LORD, the G-d of Hosts; cause Your face to shine, and we shall be saved.”(Psalms 80:19 MKJV)

Just as ignoring issues, questions, isn’t the answer, seeking guidance before seeking the Lord is also quite destructive. Remember King Saul’s searching: “And Saul said to his servants, Seek me a woman who is a medium, so that I may go to her and inquire of her. And his servant said to him, Behold, there is a woman who is a medium, at Endor.”(1 Samuel 28:7 MKJV)

Our situation isn’t the issue; our response is the point. Ignore the issue and create an emptiness that we try to fill in some way, opening us for addictions. Seek guidance not approved by G-d, and we will suffer the discontent like King Saul. Our response is to admit to the Lord our feelings, our thoughts. Are we not encouraged to take our thoughts captive to G-d? We seek the Lord.

I question my value. I understand I desire approval. I seek the Lord. And I wait upon the Lord for His way of showing me, telling me, holding me, approving of me.

Thank You, LORD! You, O LORD, our savior and redeemer, Who walks with us in our valleys and leads us to green pastures, fresh water, calming peace—Your Peace.

Lord Bless, Keep, Shine. . .